yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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