went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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