I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
