She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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