He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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