saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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