just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
