guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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