oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
