i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
