He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
