I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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