i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
