Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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