So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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