do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
being pregnant is like rehab
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
