I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
