honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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