Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
