where does the pee come out of this thing
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize