After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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