Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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