he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize