Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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