Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
