I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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