Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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