fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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