I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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