you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize