sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
