How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
