i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we're making bets on your personal life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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