Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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