Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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