We won't sleep together?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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