i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
