I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
