What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
