He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
