We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think my vagina is haunted
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
