He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
