his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
