Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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