eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
