I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
