So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
