So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
