like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
