Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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