we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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