Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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