I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it's like iHOP with fire
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm at about main and main street
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize