I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
