where am i from again
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Did I show you my penis last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
