her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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