every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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